What It Is Like Coming Back To Pelvic Floor Therapy

This is what pelvic floor therapy can look like. Crazy, right? 

The journey to healing pelvic floor issues for women is a long process and isn't easy. And overcoming them overnight is a fairytale. I wish it was a dream come true to wake up and instantly everything would be better. The truth is that we need to work through it to get to the other side.

The struggle is real and having to use all these tools has been a reality for me on my journey. The pain can be daily and depending on where I am in the process, the therapy would help it or make it worse.

For many years, I was consistent with my therapy. I made it part of my routine, motivated with or without my physical therapist, and confident in how my body was feeling. I was able to have relationships with men that included sex, wear tampons without pain, and not have phantom pains from the nerves in my pelvic floor. Everything was going smoothly and then my long-term relationship ended.

The healing on all fronts caused me to stop being consistent and retreat back into my old pattern of ignoring that I had an issue. I felt at points that coming pack to therapy was pointless because I wasn't having sex anymore or in a relationship. I'd also tell myself lies that I was better so why do I need to go back to therapy?

This was a two-year process of escaping and pushing it off for another day. Then COVID hit and my world changed. I had to adjust to a new life of being home more, laid off from my job, and working hard on my business. I started looking at my self care and one of the practices that I was lacking in was healing my pelvic floor. I now had no excuse for me not to connect deep to myself, work through all that has been thrown at me, and do the work. It took several months to get adjusted to this new life.

The shift happened for me to go back to therapy when I was working on who I was serving with my wellness and yoga offerings. For a long time, I didn't feel worthy and I held too much shame to help women through their own therapy process. As I started to rebuild myself and noticed who I was already helping, it was clear my calling was for me to help other women through their journeys.

This realization gave me the strength to come back to my therapy. It was painful, frustrating, disheartening, and the wave of feeling like something was wrong with me came back. Each time I came back and felt pain, I'd breathe and remind myself that I am still further than before and I got through this once so I can do it again. My muscles are starting to respond again and the release of them comes a little more each time.  

I noticed this time around that I don't need to be motivated by anyone else but myself. I have been learning stories of other women, reading even more books, being a part of Facebook groups, and remembering my experience is for me to help others. I also found that I was afraid of intimacy with myself and learning that I am worthy to have pleasure with myself.  It is a taboo topic that no one wants to share, but it is important for women to know that they can be sexual. That we can feel empowered and share our stories without societies judgement. It's taken me a long time to share my story and journey, but now I am on a mission to continue to share it with the world and be the support that I needed but couldn't find.

Stay tuned for my new program coming in 2021!

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​I identify as a cisgender woman and my programs for women's health come from my identity and knowledge. My pronouns are she/her/hers.